Quicksand
by iris psyche
Summary: Harry begins to avoid his friends and everyone noticed. (I suck at summaries!!! Gomenesai!!!) What's the connection with the quicksand? You'll just have to find out... hehehe... *wink-wink* (*slash*)


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"QUICKSAND"

by iris psyche

  
_I would like to visit you for a while  
Get away, and out of this city  
Maybe I shouldn't have called  
But someone had to be the first to break..._  
  
He watched quietly as Gryffindor's Golden Boy slowly got up to leave the Great Hall. Judging from his actions, it was clear that the boy is still down in the slumps. He avoided everyone, even his two bestfriends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.  
  
It's the middle of December and Christmas is only days away. It's been two months since the death of the second most feared wizard, second only to Voldemort, Sirius Black, and everyone is celebrating the loss of the Dark Lord's right hand.  
  
His fellow 6th years have noticed the change in Harry Potter, but no one dared to ask. He has been like that for two months now, not talking, picking his food, avoiding everyone and staring off to space. Rumors started to spread like wildfire. Some say Potter broke up with his girlfriend but Draco doubts if he ever had a girlfriend. Many say the Gryffindor trio had a fight that caused Harry to separate from the other two. But what really happened to Harry Potter?  
  
_What happened to Potter?_ Draco Malfoy found himself asking the same thing. And like everyone else, he has no answer.  
  
Dinner looked less appetizing now. Sighing, Draco pushed his plate and left the Great Hall. Alone, he made the long walk to the Slytherin dormitories.  
  
Upon reaching the room he shared with his two henchmen, Crabbe and Goyle, Draco threw himself on his bed and drifted off to an uneasy sleep.  
  
He saw those emerald eyes. He was drowning in their depths. Falling... deeper and deeper... Endless.  
  
Draco woke up in the middle of the night. He has been dreaming of those green eyes like he always did for a long time now. He shook his head to dispel the image from his mind but did not succeed.  
  
He got up and went outside for a short walk, feeling the need for some fresh air. He was careful to be quiet else some professor or that ugly caretaker and his cat might find him and punish him for being out of bed.  
  
As he walked to the lake, he heard a soft noise. Someone was sitting under a tree near the edge of the lake. It was too dark to see whom it was from where he was standing.  
  
Who could be out here at this time of night? he wondered.  
  
Slowly, he crept to the person, taking care not to make too much noise in case the person notices him and run away. The person was sitting on the ground, hugging his knees, his face covered by the shadows.  
  
Draco cleared his throat.  
  
The person looked up from the shadows to see who it is.  
  
Draco froze.  
  
"Malfoy."  
  
"Potter."

* * *

  
_We can go sit on the back porch  
Relax, talk about anything, it don't matter  
I'll be courageous if you can pretend  
That you've forgiven me..._  
  
"Potter."  
  
Harry placed his chin on top of his knees. His face returned to the shadows. Draco can't see his face but he could clearly hear him sobbing quietly.  
  
Draco was speechless. He didn't expect this meeting and it caught him offguard. He stood there, watching the lake, not knowing what to do.  
  
Harry lifted his head and he was now staring into the lake.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
Draco's eyes went to the boy, trying vainly to understand what he was saying. He could barely hear him. His voice subtle as the breeze that blew around them.  
  
"What are you waiting for?" Harry said quietly. "Go ahead and mock me. Throw your insults at me and get it done with. I don't care anymore. That's why you're here right? To make my life more miserable than it already is!"  
  
Draco was taken aback by the sudden heat in Harry's voice. A lump went in his throat. He was deeply hurt by those words. Yet he still could not speak. It was as if the wind took his own voice away. He felt empty. Instead, he watched him sit there and stare at the lake.  
  


* * *

_'Coz I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this face  
The picture frames have changed  
And so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from the pain  
But what I wouldn't give  
To see your face again..._  
  
Without thinking, he sat down beside him. It was as if an invisible force was telling him what to do. He let his emotions take over. And for one who was always in control, Draco felt at ease in letting his emotions in. It felt...different.  
  
For the first time in his life, Draco Malfoy felt free.  
  
He sat there, not minding that his greatest enemy was beside him. He was staring aimlessly beyond the dark lake. So this is what it felt to be free, he thought. Sure, he had felt a lot of emotions throughout his life. Anger, hatred, pain...but free... It was a whole new experience for him.  
  
And he liked it. He wouldn't admit it, but he really liked it. He liked the feeling of being free. Of not being trapped. Of not bottling up his emotions.  
  


* * *

  
_Springtime in the city  
Always such relief from the winter freeze  
The snow is more lonely than cold  
If you know what I mean..._  
  
Staring at the great expanse beyond the lake, he felt it. Another feeling. Loneliness. He had felt it before, at times when he wakes up in the middle of the night all alone while everyone else slept peacefully, but not as intense as it is now. What's the use of being free when you are alone? he thought. No one wants to be alone. There are billions of people living their lives on this world, yet they feel alone. They have their families, friends, colleagues. Still, whether they like it or not, someone always end up alone.  
  
Loneliness. Something you'd never expect the Slytherin Prince to feel. He was always shown affection by his many admirers, girls and boys alike. But none of them knew him. None of them wanted him for who he really is. No one knows Draco. Not even his family.  
  
He sighed and turned his attention to the boy beside him, hoping to escape the loneliness he was feeling.  
  
Then he heard it. That painful sobbing that broke the silence between them. The same sobbing that brought him to this place. It cut through his heart like a sharp knife. He was surprised on how much it affected him.  
  
He held up a hand and placed it on the boy's shoulder, the only gesture he knew that might comfort him. He's not used to this. Heck, he shouldn't be doing this. If his friends found out that he was comforting The-Boy-Who- Lived, his reputation will be ruined. Yet he pushed those thoughts away and concentrated on the boy crying beside him.  
  
It happened in a glimpse. Harry turned around and buried his head on Draco's shoulders, his hands clutching the blonde tightly against him.  
  
Draco was froze for a moment, shocked at the sudden move the other boy did. But then he felt that warmth coming from Harry's body. He marveled at the comforting feeling of having Harry so close to him, holding him in his arms. Tenderly, he wrapped his arms around the other's body, keeping him close. Harry was still sobbing on his shoulder, his robe wet because of his tears. But Draco didn't mind. He didn't feel lonely anymore.  
  
Damn Potter, he thought.

__

Everyone's got an agenda  
Don't stop, keep that chin up  
You'll be alright  
Can you believe what a year it's been  
Are you still the same?  
Has your opinion changed?  
  
They stayed that way for a while, enjoying the comfort one is experiencing from the other.  
  
Draco was staring at the vast expanse beyond the lake again. No longer did he feel lonely. The emptiness inside ebbed away and his heart was filled with joy.  
  
So this is what it feels to be in love, he thought. For so long he had kept this feeling inside, depriving himself of the joy of falling in love. And now, he let it consume him, drowning in the delicious flood of emotions that has been bottled up for a long time.  
  
He felt Harry move and he turned to face those emerald eyes that he had been dreaming of for so many nights. He smiled at Harry. No, not a smirk or a mischievous smile he used to give him, but a genuine one.  


__

'Coz I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this face  
The picture frames have changed  
And so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from the pain  
But what I wouldn't give  
To see your face again...  
  
He felt himself getting lost in those emerald eyes. He couldn't help it. He liked Harry. He has been secretly admiring him for years. He tried to hide it. He tried to stop himself. He tried to block out those feelings, wearing a mask to cover up everything. He thought he succeeded, but he didn't. He was falling fast, sinking deeper into the quicksand. The more he tried to struggle, the deeper he sank.  
  
_I don't want this anymore,_ he thought. I don't wanna hide it anymore. No more masks.  
  
His hand went to the raven-haired boy's face, tenderly sliding his fingertips on his face, tracing the outline of those soft lips.  
  
But it was Harry who kissed him. Harry who leaned in and placed his lips on his. It wasn't a soft, tender kiss he would expect from a guy like Harry. It was hungry and full of passion. He opened his mouth, his tongue asking for entrance into Harry's mouth. Harry willingly let him in, entangling his tongue with his. Hands exploring the new body under them.  
  
They separated only to breathe. Both boys were breathing heavily, surprised at the passion they had shown, but glad to have a great burden removed from their shoulders.  
  
Draco flashed a gentle smile at Harry. Harry returned the smile, but Draco could see that he was trying to cover up the sadness that was still haunting him. He wanted to ask him. To be able to share with him the pain the he was feeling. But he knew it wasn't yet the time for him to ask those questions.  


* * *

I know I let you down  
Again and again  
I know I never really treated you right  
I've paid the price  
I'm still paying for it everyday...  
  
"I'm sorry," Draco whispered.  
  
Harry looked up with questioning eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry for everything," Draco said. "Sorry for mocking you, for insulting you and your friends. I'm sorry for making you miserable. I really liked you, you know. I liked you from the very beginning."  
  
"I like you too," Harry whispered shyly. "It's just that you were always mad at me. We were enemies from the start. You were always insulting Ron and Hermione. But I have always liked you, I don't know why. I'm sorry for breaking down in front of you. I just couldn't take it anymore. Sirius died and I feel so lonely..."  
  
"What has Black's death got to do with you?!" Draco blurted out.  
  
Harry's eyes started welling up and Draco wish he hadn't said anything. Tears were falling again.  
  
"Sirius Black is my godfather. He's my father's bestfriend. He has been a father to me."  
  
Draco realized the pain Harry was feeling. He never thought it was this serious. He expected something like a quarrel with Ron or something similar. Gently, he held Harry to him, cradling him like a child, trying to stop him from breaking down again.  
  
Their lips collided for the second time. This time it was soft and tender, comforting. They stopped, emerald and sapphire locked in steady gaze.  
  
Draco brushed the tear off Harry's cheek with his thumb. If only he could take away the pain from those eyes. If only he could make him happy again. He would never, never let anyone hurt Harry.  
  
"I love you, Harry."  


  
So maybe I shouldn't have called  
Was it too soon to tell  
Or what the hell  
It doesn't really matter  
How do you redefine something  
That never really had a name?  
Has your opinion changed?  
  
"I love you, Harry." Draco whispered the three sacred words softly on Harry's ear.  
  
Harry smiled sadly and placed his head on Draco's shoulder.  
  
Draco felt a bit disappointed that Harry didn't say that he loved him too. Love can never be hurried, he reminded himself. He couldn't expect Harry to love him that fast. They had been enemies for more than 5 years after all.  
  
He held him closer, tighter. He meant it. He really loved Harry. He didn't care if Harry wouldn't love him back. It doesn't really matter, he told himself.  
  
The quicksand was getting deeper and deeper. His head was the only part of him that is still above the sand. It won't be long before he finally finds peace. Away from the world that never understood him. A world that never really knew him.  
  


* * *

__

'Coz I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this face  
The picture frames have changed  
And so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from the pain  
But what I wouldn't give  
To see your face again...  
  
Draco placed a finger under Harry's chin and gently held the other boy's face to him. His lips found its way to Harry's. He wanted him, needed him. His heart cried out for him. His tongue explored Harry's mouth, battling with Harry's tongue for domination. Love is a wonderful feeling. Draco felt glad that he was able to feel it in his lifetime.  
  
After what seemed like a second and eternity at the same time, they gasped for air; eyes still locked at each other as if the other would disappear if they would dare to look away.  
  
Draco let himself drown in Harry's deep green eyes. His body, his heart, his soul, his whole being. Harry is his everything. He would never let him be hurt. He would rather give his life up for him.  
  
He was feeling exhausted, his eyes starting to close by themselves. What time is it? he asked himself.  
  
Harry leaned and kissed his lips tenderly, moving to his cheeks then nibbling at his earlobe. Draco shivered at the delicious feeling. Harry's breath felt like the wind on his ear.  
  
And as Draco was about to fall asleep in his lovers arms, he heard Harry whisper huskily on his ear.  
  
"I love you too, Draco Malfoy."  
  
Draco realized that he himself was crying. No, it wasn't of sadness nor pain, but of pure joy. His heart was overwhelmed with love.  
  
His head was almost entirely covered by sand. The quicksand was claiming his whole body. Darkness enveloped him. But then he saw a light. A hand outstretched, reaching out for his. He took it and felt himself being pulled to safety. Draco opened his eyes to see who it was that saved him. He smiled when he saw Harry's hand holding his. He slid his arms around the boy's waist and held him close.  
  
Snow was gently falling from the sky. The year is almost over. Only three days to go before Christmas.  
  
The two boys stayed that way for a long time.  


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~ * ~ * ~ FIN ~ * ~ * ~


End file.
